mbranesf (mbranesf) wrote,

Shall we indulge in some gay cartoon sex?

Oddly, this morning started with an email from someone I sort of know--not really well, but sort of--the subject of which was yaoi and gay hentai imagery. This person wished to make sure that I was aware of the existence of such material, because he suspected that I would find it extremely enjoyable and that it would be a major oversight on my part of I didn't know about it.  Hmm. Well, I have indeed known about these forms of Japanese cartoon sexiness for many years. Really, I would be surprised if there is a genre of gay porn that I have not yet heard of. But I'm not, in fact, a big consumer of erotic imagery and videos. I find that my imagination is quite a bit hotter than most of what shows up in pics and vids. If I am going to spend time with porn, I'd rather read something. A few years ago, Jeff and I were shopping with our friend Emily in a store in St. Louis which had a fairly extensive gay porn magazine selection. Jeff and I decided to make purchases, so we would have something fun to leaf through over mimosas during brunch. I chose an issue of the digest Cherry Tales. This magazine had a single image, on its cover, and the whole interior of it was nothing but text. It looked kind of like Analog, but filled with "true" first person accounts of boys who has just turned eighteen that day losing their virginity. Emily said something like, "Of course you're getting the porn mag that doesn't have any pictures!" Dork!

But though I am not big into the xxx pics usually, I have again and again tried to appreciate the manga/anime style stuff because it's so weird and strangely stylized. Sometimes it is actually pretty beautiful, sometimes even truly hot. But more often, it's just strange in a way that I have hard time finding sexy, and I wonder if people are seriously, uh, "using" this stuff as porn or just appreciating it as a freaky-deaky art form. I think what I find weird about it is actually two different things. The characters in the images more often than not look either way too serious about what they're doing or they look like downright angry. Often they look to be in pain as well, which I guess manifests out of the hentai predilection with violence and bondage.  This stuff below looks fairly serious, but it doesn't indicate too much of the anger and desperation as I have seen in a lot of these images. The dude on the left looks fairly contemplative but not too terribly stressed I don't think. The one on the right seems fairly calm, though we can't see who's boning him, and it might look like a very different scene if we could (it could very well be a crazy-looking Yosemite Sam monster behind him):
Then there is a vast, vast quantity of this sort of weirdness: visual slash fiction featuring characters from animated TV shows and movies having sex with wildly distorted organs. The text that accompanied this image of characters from Teen Titans getting it on promised that "you will be quite aroused as white and green boys commit homosexual acts!" Really?  Is that truly arousing to a lot of people?  I am not, by the way, trying to insult anyone who would answer yes to that. I do not judge. Arousal is very personal and individual thing. I accept and respect all modes as long as no one is getting hurt in the real world. But I'm just wondering if this is really hot to a lot of people.  Behold the Titans and their improbable penises and very, very serious sexual demeanor.

As I was looking these and other images, I started to imagine an alternate universe that one could actually enter through a portal of some sort and actually be able to indulge in two-dimensional sex acts with cartoons. What would that be like? I also wondered what J and I would look like after we passed into that universe. (probably much like the Titans above--he's the green one of course!) l decided to distort some images of us to test out the possibility.  I turned Jeff into this bizarre pink thing (damn, I hope he never looks at this post--he'd kill me!):

And these flat and bright images are, of course, of me preparing to have my desperate, sweaty, teeth-grinding way with the pink dude. The one on the left, I think, is a pretty fine, 2-D, old-time Johnny Quest-like result. The other one is a bit less cartoonish and a bit more 3-D, but very appropriate for this discussion because of the Sapporo ad behind me (Japanese beer...get it?). The greenish hair and glowing eyes and bright yellow skin works, I think. 

Readers will be relieved to know that in the case of the picture on the left, I had the sense and modesty to do a tasteful crop on what was originally a near full-body shot. I assure you, however, that I would have exercised no such restraint if I'd had the patience to digitally replace my genitals with something cartoonishly large!
Tags: gay, porn, sex

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