mbranesf (mbranesf) wrote,

Brussels sprouts

Typical Americans tend to believe that they "don't like Brussels sprouts." Typical Americans also tend to be factually incorrect about nearly everything that has to do with taste, aesthetics and how to incorporate eating into proper living. It's partly because being uninformed is cool nowadays. People my age (at the very youngest) and older will remember an episode of the TV series Leave it to Beaver in which Beaver Cleaver (yeah, that's what they called him) was willing to do anything--literally anything--even missing out on accompanying his family to a football game, just to avoid eating one single goddamned fucking Brussels sprout.

Screw the Beaver. Here's how you make them, recipe can be scaled up as needed:

Buy a pound or so of fresh Brussels sprouts, the ones in the produce section and NOT ever, ever evAR!! the ones from the frozen section.

Have on hand bacon, onion, garlic, balsamic vinegar and salt and pepper. Some chicken broth, too.

Cut those Brussels sprouts into quarters.

Cut up that bacon into little bits, and dice that onion and chop that garlic.

Get a pan good and hot and render that bacon. The grease stays. You will not drain it. When the bacon is looking about done, add the onion and garlic and Brussels sprouts.

Stir all that around with lust. Not love, but lust. Throw kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper on it (to taste).

Pour over it enough broth to cover the pan's contents to about halfway. Get it to a simmer and and keep the heat low so it stays at a bare simmer. Splash in a tablespoon or two or three of balsamic vinegar.

Cook until sprouts are tender.

Serve with other Thanksgiving dishes. Love it. Join me in looking down with elitist despair and world-weariness on those who still hate Brussels sprouts.

Tags: cooking

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