December 2nd, 2009

STR8 MARRIAGE BANNED in M-SPACE

I guess the New York Senate blocked the legalization of gay marriage that had been passed by their House and which their governor had indicated he would sign. So...why do dumbass losers get to vote on shit like this anyway? Most states have successfully held popular referendums telling people who they can marry. Why does a fucking voter have a say in it? Think about it: voters. They hardly ever come up with a reasonable result. It's so hit-or-miss as to be laughable. Come on. I wish I could write some kind of satirical skewering of the whole concept in which, with grace and panache, I would lay bare the dumbassity of it all. But I'm too pissed off and humorless about it. THEREFORE, the following OPEN LETTER from the HIGH COMMAND of M-BRANE SF to douchebag str8 married conservative dudes who are the main proponents of telling other people what they can and cannot do:

Dear Conservative Str8 Married Dudes:

Be advised that in the unlikely event that you should pass from your world into M-SPACE, that your penis-in-vagina marriage is rendered null and void, and all your cultural assumptions and patriarchal notions of privilege symbolized by your cheap tacky wedding band and your brass-and-glass curio cabinet full of wedding gifts are, in fact, deemed illegal and reprehensible to the dominant culture of M-SPACE (aka: faggotry). We suggest that you also not risk bringing your so-called "wife" into M-SPACE with you (should you need to travel in our domain), because I am technically bisexual (little known fact) and if she is even in the least little bit hot, I will for sure successfully seduce her and make you into a cuckold. In which case, you will be disgraced in your right-wing circles and we will laugh our asses off at your misfortune. Oh, and we're commies, too. Just so you know.

Fuck you very much,
Christopher Fletcher
General Secretary of the Gay Commie Peoples Party of M-BRANE SF (GCPPMBSF)