mbranesf (mbranesf) wrote,
mbranesf
mbranesf

"We have a new enemy."

While I have always abhorred committee-designed food products aimed at dumbing down cooking (in part by convincing home cooks that they are too dumb to cook without fucked-up, weird-ass "convenience" products), I find myself pushed right near to the edge of hatred WITH THE INTENSITY OF A THOUSAND NOVA SUNS!!! by the very existence of this new abomination product, this "Philadelphia Cooking Creme."



Here, before I go off like a lunatic, read this item by a more reasonable person, from whose site I snagged that pic.

The TV commercial itself, part of what they say is a pull-out-all-the-stops binge of ad-o-malia about "creme," is disgusting. It is in its every detail cynically aimed at its target customer. Watch as a not-too-young and yet not-too-old Woman With a Family smiles she prepares a delicious dinner by dumping a package of "Cooking Creme" into a pan of chicken bits and veggies, (which themselves look like they came pre-prepared from a package), stirs for a moment and declares dinner accomplished. The product, the "creme," is cream cheese thinned out with various additives and enhanced with "flavor profiles." It is Abomination.

OK. Deep breath. But I need to say at least this: "creme" is not pronounced the same way as "cream." Also, it is not an English word at all. Kraft would have pissed me off only maybe 60% as much with this dumb product if they had called it "cooking CREAM" instead of "cooking CREME." But remember smiling Woman With a Family from the TV ad? She's so dumb that she thinks it's all fancy and French when it's spelled "creme." Or so Kraft wants you to believe. 

Anyone who craves chicken with some creamy goo on it may say so in comments here, and I will happily post a recipe matching that description but using better and less expensive ingredients.
Tags: cooking, douchebaggery
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